


the nightmares of midnight thoughts

by celtoreo



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Pining Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23323585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celtoreo/pseuds/celtoreo
Summary: Sometimes staying up late can lead to a state of deliberation no one really wants to get stuck in. Sometimes those places get darker and darker as time passes. Sometimes nightmares are better than what goes on in your head at midnight - sometimes, those midnight thoughts are nightmares. Sometime they're the nightmares of those contemplations.Keith and Lance are two very different people, but maybe they can connect in more ways than they realize.
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	the nightmares of midnight thoughts

Keith is floating. Every time he kicks, his legs have no purchase- they don't push him backwards or spin him around, he doesn't twist or twirl through the air. There's no motion anywhere except for the fluttering of his eyelids and the way his breath, stuttering from his lungs, bounces off the inside of his helmet and connects with him again. 

He doesn't need to open his eyes to realize that he's lost in space. But he does, and the reality hits him like a punch to the belly. His breathing accelerates, his heartbeat grows rapid. His body tries to compensate for the loss that he's feeling by filling his ears with noise, a sound like rushing water and burning static. Something in his mind reassures him that the water and the static is safe. Hearing something is better than hearing nothing at all. But he knows there's nothing here- and at the reminder, the endlessly dark world goes quiet around him. 

He takes a second. His anxiety has nestled itself alongside his stomach, waiting for the moment to sneak up and through his insides, poisoning his throat and his mind. No. He has to stay calm, elsewise things will get worse. 

Keith tries to turn in this vacant space, eyes searching for something to tell him why he's here, where he is, and maybe exactly how to handle the situation, but all he sees is stars. Stars and broken chunks of rocks and the dust that trails behind them. He turns his head so that he can see what's below him, out of the reach of his peripherals, and a groan escapes his lips. 

Scattered here and there and everywhere are the burning pieces of a Galran ship. Momentarily he wonders how the fire is still burning if there's not any oxygen, but his mind quickly becomes occupied with other things as he quickly kicks away a small piece of metal heading towards him. Debris is still spinning outwards, some is plummeting towards the planet below. It's big and blue and white- Keith wracks his memory for any sort of idea to what this planet might be or why he's here, but he can't remember anything. But his head doesn't hurt and he's not panicking yet- he's measuring his breath. _One two three four. Hold. One two three four five six seven. Out. One two three four._ He nods, closing his eyes for a second. It's going to be fine, Keith. He lifts a hand to his helmet and presses his fingertips against the side. If that ship looks like that, and if he's here, the others have to be somewhere nearby. Red has to be close. If nothing else, he can come pick him up.

"Guys," he says, and his voice cracks, like he's been screaming for hours on end without pause. God. Then he takes another slow breath, and speaks again, this time being careful to keep his tone steady. "Guys. Where are you? I'm..." He glances back around for a few moments, checking the burning ship again. "I'm above the Galran ship. A couple asteroids are maybe, maybe um-" he swallows, "maybe five hundred meters to my right? I need a pick up. Please."

He lets go of his helmet, and then sits there for a couple seconds. The thought hits him that he could try to activate his thrusters, and so he clenches his right hand into a fist and waits to be propelled _somewhere_. Maybe he can find a place with better reception- maybe they're just out of reach, maybe he can find them on his own. They couldn't be far. 

But despite his attempts, nothing happens, and the red paladin quietly curses himself, settling back into that empty silence. It sort of hits him all at once that his friends aren't responding to his call, and he grabs at the front of his armor, quickly reminding himself of his breathing.

It fails too. His breaths become quick and short and small-- too small.

"Guys. I'm serious. If this is a joke or something, it is really not fucking funny," Keith whispers, a shudder jolting its way up his spine. "Come pick me up, or tell me you're okay, or something. _Please_."

And then there's that quiet again. Not the nice sort of quiet, like the ones poets would love to write about, not the sort of quiet that's warm and soft as you bundle yourself in a blanket and look out at the snowy sky, not the sort of quiet that Keith is so used to when he sits with his friends and watches the spread of the galaxy around them. It is a hollow quiet, a quiet that carves him from the inside out and fills the holes it makes with explosive panic. 

And unsure of what else to do, he lets the fuses start to burn.

"Lance? Hunk? Come in, somebody, anybody, please. Pidge, Coran, Allura, Shiro-- come on!! Please!!" he hisses the words into the line, and his only reply is quiet. His chest starts to shudder as his throat ties itself into knots, and he shrinks, screwing his eyes shut to hold back the tears that burn in them. "Please." He holds his breath for longer than he should, trembling to the point where it heaves out of him in a sharp exhale and he's gulping it down in gasps. This is the last thing he should have done. His oxygen is only going to last so long and he's wasting all of it.

Goddamnit, Keith, why can't you do ONE THING right?

He jerks as a scream bursts through his intercom, violent and desperate. It makes him want to rip his helmet off and toss it into Oblivion before chasing it there himself. He wanted noise, but he didn't want this. It takes seconds for him to recognize who it was, because it was Shiro. His brother. He cries out his name, terrified and in horrid need of some sort of response. But there is none. The heat around him has started to grow and intensify, and the sweat that's pooled in his armor is sticky and increases his discomfort. 

His head spins. He _wants_ to drift into Oblivion. No-- he _needs_ to. He needs to let go of all of this so he never has to hear the sound again. So he doesn't have to feel how sick the pounding heart in his chest makes him feel. So he can follow Shiro to wherever he's gone. 

The heat around him is growing, and he feels like he's boiling in his own panic, so he turns and squints against the brightness of the sun behind him. Maybe he's already dead. Maybe this is his brain trying to make him feel real. Anger replaces the panic and he screams at this bright light, crying out his friends' names. The only things that are cold anymore are the tears slipping down his cheeks.

And then he's falling, and his eyes close, and finally, the light goes away.

… :::: …

Keith wakes up, and it's almost worse than the falling. He's tangled up in his sheets, the fabric binding his legs together and wrapped around his torso. His breath shudders into his lungs and he jerks, panicking, and he can feel the fabric rip loudly. A sob bursts from his lips- he can still feel the armor and the heat and he can still hear the scream, ringing and ringing and ringing in his head. His shirt sticks uncomfortably to his skin and he leaps to his feet, pacing over to the wall, where he shoves his fingers through his tangled hair. Knots catch him by the knuckles at some point, so his hands stay where they are. 

His breathing is abnormal- alien. Panic palms at his chest and tugs at his scalp, scrabbling for more power over him. He looks around and everything is unfamiliar and odd. The way the torn sheets lay across the bed. The walls, the ceiling, the red and yellow and white jacket hanging on the hook by the door. All of it looks wrong and he doesn't know why. Maybe _he's_ the wrong one. He doesn't belong here. 

Everyone else has a purpose. Shiro's their leader, Hunk's the strength anf the kindness, Coran is their quick-witted advisor, Allura's the princess, Pidge is the brains, and Lance is the soul and...

Keith doesn't know where he fits in. The temperamental and weak Red Paladin, who panicks at midnight because of stupid fake nightmares. It wasn't even real and his whole world is falling apart in this moment because of it. It's fucking ridiculous. Who knows what would happen if this happened while they were out and around?

He feels faint for a while, finally learning to breathe for the seven-hundreth time. He rests his head against the cool surface of the white wall and attempts to steady himself, arms tucked tight around his torso. He exhales slowly, and then lifts his hands to wipe his eyes- and the fierce, ghastly loneliness sets into his chest.

He's familiar with this feeling. He can handle this feeling.

He shivers quietly, and then starts to quietly pad towards the door. He needs to go to the training room. Fight something easy for a while. It'll keep his mind off and maybe the bot will fill in the loneliness. Or maybe it won't. Whatever. The door slides open as he approaches it and he sticks his head out, hesitantly peering both ways.

The castle is scarier when it's dark like this. He steps out and the lights flicker to life-- he quickly flinches from it, covering his eyes momentarily before swallowing down the spike of anxiety that the simple action caused. It was out of his control, but he should have known it would happen. He shivers again, and then starts walking, heading on his way to the only place that sounded safe in this moment. 

He keeps having to look around, feeling like there's someone watching him. There isn't, of course- everyone else is long asleep by now. He's not going to bother them like this. They don't need to know about it. Not even Shiro.

His footsteps are the only noise through the quiet halls. Keith decides it's better than nothing.


End file.
